I found out last week that my blood born father got remarried in January. My parents divorced when I was 16 and he disowned my brother (13 at the time) and I when my mother met my stepfather.
How did I find out he got married? Well, because I'm nosy and like to go searching through public records online. That's how I found out... I saw the marriage license. So I looked her up. She seems perfectly respectable... works for a city department, saw a picture of her from a newsletter of some sort.
So how did she end up with my father, a manipulative control freak? How did she marry a man that disowned his only two children and was okay with it, being a mother herself?
I think he told her a big fat lie. He's good at that. He think he probably told her something that made him sound like a desperate father who tried anything and everything to keep his children in his life but his ex-wife (my mom) was so wretched and entranced by her new boyfriend that she kept us away from him.
Reality? My father is so controlling he pulled a suicide attempt in order to get my mom away from my stepdad (her boyfriend at the time). He told lies all over town (small town) and turned my grandparents away from us. I received a phone call from my father when I was 16 and he asked me to go to counseling with him. I said no. (Keep in mind he pulled the "Jesus" card on me - after my whole life of never going to church with my mom, brother and I, suddenly he saw the light. I didn't buy it.) He said that we were no longer his children if we continued to live with my mother and that was the end of that.
So I have to believe, my father's new wife (3rd BTW) doesn't have a clue about what really happened. I'm tempted to write her a letter but to what end? What result am I looking to get out of all of it? I certainly don't want to "mend" things or have holidays with them. She probably wouldn't believe anything I had to say anyway.
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