A Knitted Frenzy

And Now We Wait...

There is the final document I signed not 30 minutes ago.  All that's left is filing with the court and a judge's signature.  We're back to waiting.  Maybe it'll be final on his birthday next week.  Wouldn't that be a fitting birthday present?  For just a fleeting second, I would love it if he felt a twinge of remorse.  Oh no wait... remorse is for those with consciouses.  Never mind.  I'll settle for irreversible sterility (did I just say that??)

How time flies

Only 63 days to go, barring any complications.  I have this internal fear of life running amuck and I will be stuck with this blasted last name (and all it's nasty accoutrements) for a longer period of time than I have been hoping for.

Pray that it doesn't take longer than 63 days.

D Day Looms Ahead (I Hope!)

Well, now I'm PO'd again.

I called his atty to find out "status." Since I'm pro per, they'll talk to me. But they basically told me nothing. They're well within the 6 months and one day to get the financials together and they can take as long as needed. Bull sh**. I want this ball rolling.

I wrote down everything I know to have happened to our cc debt, the balances as of the date I left (even though I have no access to actual statements anymore), the demise of the re-fi money, etc. I am now working on getting the value of the house as of the date we married to the date I left. I will be getting values from 3 or 4 different real estate agents.

I am also going to be hiring my kick-a** attorney next week. I should have my entire wedding ring set sold (sold off the band this morning) and with that money, I will have enough for the retainer. I need her to kick some butt. That means I also have to refile my statement of assets and debts because he may try to go after my money to pay for whatever he thinks I should pay for.

I will be giving my attorney a full budget. I don't make a lot of money. I don't have DSL at home or cable or fancy long distance plans.  I am cash poor at the moment since having to move out on my own (i.e. deposits, etc.)

I even called and left a message at his house telling him I wanted to come by and pick up the rest of my things (I made a list of what I stupidly left behind).  I just need to know when I good time is for him.  I will be taking my strongarms with me and a big truck.  And if he refuses, I will itemize each and every item left at his house and take it out of the settlement.

Thanks for firing me up ladies (all y'all on the knittyboards!)  It was the kick in the butt I needed. Why should I be nice? He hasn't been nice. I have the phone call I received in Jan 04 documented. I have the emails he sent his whatever to and her name and address. Just the fact that he filed before I did says volumes about his character.

I was going to go quietly but what for?  I may have left the finances in a mess but I'm more than willing to pay for half the mess.  He has to pay for his mess too.  He cheated.  He lied.  He betrayed me.  During. The. Entire. Marriage. 

Countdown continues...

Well, provided everything goes well, only 141 days to go.

Yes, there is a countdown...

...160 days to go...

Numb

So Monday I go for my first consultation with an attorney.  Sadly, if divorce is where we're headed (and I'm not seeing any detours lately), it should be pretty cut and dry.  The house isn't in my name, none of the liabilities are either. 

He's not leaving me any alternatives.  I mean, three weeks without contact???  When he's the one that cheated?  Granted, I could call too but why when all I get is an earful of yelling from him about bills and money.

Every step I take makes me numb.  Initially leaving: numb.  Various conversations: numb.  Moving all my things: numb.  Going to talk to an attorney: numb.

I know this will get better.  Repeat 50 times/day.